People Pleasing

   How long can a person survive by being a people pleaser? You don't need to keep on living for others by pleasing them. Whenever one is into this vicious cycle of pleasing the other, the energy level of that person starts depleting. In pleasing others and making them happy you are inviting mental illnesses, frustration, anxiety and depression towards you. The reason is because you cannot say a "NO' when you want to say no. You cannot avoid helping because you feel its your duty to do so. This is detrimental to your peace, your growth and your life. You are not at peace because in doing things for others you put away your commitments / your wishes / your 'me time' and what not. How long are you going to allow others to count on you? It is good to help others and be their for your friends, family or relatives but this habit of pleasing others and being there for them builds an extremely unhealthy pattern in your psyche.
   Trying to be there always for your clan and pleasing them has its roots in either a rejection or some kind of failure which a person faced. Due to this the person is always under  stress of ' what if I lose this relation / job / friend? It is this 'what if' that makes a person a people pleaser by neglecting the self. You are always under pressure so you face health issues - be it physical / mental. You neglect your 'self' and are not able to enjoy any activity because there is resentment within you as you have developed a pattern of being a people pleaser due to the fear of rejection / failure. There is a high degree of aggression because of neglecting your self. The person has a nasty temperament, is sarcastic towards others and is highly critical at times due to the resentment and aggression within.
   It is good to be of help to others but not at the cost of your self. You don't need to stoop down to such an extent that you hold no worth in your eyes. Help others within your limits without any stress. The relations - familial / friendly / professional are not there to keep us away from our commitments, our dreams or our desires. Be responsible towards these relations but not by neglecting your self. If you continue doing this by pleasing others; you are likely to lose your self esteem in the long run. Thus be of help to others but help yourself first. If you help yourself; you will remain fit and happy to help others around you. Eliminate the fear of what others think about you if you are not there for them. Learn to say a 'NO' when required to live and breathe freely rather than getting choked by this factors which harm your peace and health.


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