A Valuable Shift


   In any relation be it mother - child, brother - sister, husband - wife or among friends one of the other parties always feels a lacking. Whatever one does is never enough. Due to this there are many issues that happen. Sometimes this leads to a rift in the relationship or one of the other person is dejected and feel that there is nothing left in the relationship. Say for example a wife that performs the duties that are required of the family but one mistake  from her side makes the husband feel that that he is not getting enough. Due to this the wife is always under tremendous pressure and they may be lot of fights and arguments between the husband and wife. This applies to any relationship because whenever one of the party feels that what what he or she is doing is ultimate and weighs the behaviour of the other without considering the troubles and pain the other person undergoes in fulfilling the duties; there is a huge toll on that relation.
   It is our human tendency to always look for something more and expect more from the other. While doing this we are not considerate enough of the other person because we just think of ourselves and become self centred. If we do not get what we expect we feel cheated and deprived. But why can't we open our eyes and see what the other person is feeling? Why can't we put ourselves in the shoes of the other person? Why can't we understand things from the perspective of the other? This is what is required for the sustenance of any relation. Unless and until we do not focus on the goodness, the sacrifices and the love the person has for us, we are always going to stay focused on the trivialities and neglect the 99% and concentrate on the 1% that we badly yearn for.
   One needs to think on how reasonable is this thought process and what harm it does to the relation. Nothing is perfect but yet we desire the perfect. If you want something perfect, don't you think the other person also seeks to have perfection? This is where we fail and become self centred. To live in harmony one needs love, care and concern from the family and not the trivialities like caste, creed, bad habits, weaknesses and materialistic. pleasures. After spending many years together if the person has stood by you through thick and thin; this in itself is proof of how important and valuable you are to the other even though the other is torn apart between many factors. Show consideration to such valuable gems in your life rather than playing in self pity and being a victim. 
   A person may be lacking in something due to various reasons but that should not be your barometer of measuring the love and importance of that person towards you. Remember that the other person also neglects the areas where you lack and stays committed to you. And if both the parties demonstrate this insensitivity and insecurity then no relation can survive and thrive.  Change your focus;  look at the positive side of the relation and try to work out things where required. It may take time but it definitely helps and is worth it in life for your near and dear relations.


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